Amendmant (8/10/2013): Just getting this out of my draft not even going to read it. I fell asleep typing this one for sure. I remember (despite not remembering what I wrote) waking up with my hands on the keys and not seeing any text. It freaked me out and after trying to recover the text with some terrible decisions and ultimately realizing the text was still there just off screen, I decided to put the computer up and succumb to my eyelids desires.
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I know it has been a while. I have been thinking about you all very much. However, I was just sitting here and I feel like I have laughed at my self a lot recently. I was trying to remember the last time, it was only a few days ago; but it took a second before I could even remember. Want to hear about it? Of course you Jdo!
Hehe, oh me. It is not even really that funny so do not go getting your hopes up. I could probably make you laugh harder by trying to tell a serious story.
Alright, so I decided it was time to clean the house some. I have lived here 6 months or maybe longer, exact time of when I moved in is disputed (although I do not admit it, non-confrontational and all). Yes my memory for the mundane is that bad. The only cleaner I have accumulated in that time is toilet bowl cleaner, tile and tub cleaner, and floor cleaner. Clearly I needed bleach (and also Drano, but how would you know that?)! So of course I went to Wal-mart, because in Vegas there are only about 50. It is really disappointing, I have to decide which direction I want to travel when I am to make a trip to the closest Wal-mart.
I ended up hanging out in the truck, at Wal-mart for an hour or so. You know listening to music and creeping people out after they go in, walk the entire store, buying everything on their little lists, and then come back out only to see that I am still there sitting, eying them as they walk past.. I kid, my eyes avert themselves from any contact with other humans, especially unknown strangers. Eventually I was bored and tired and dreading even going in, that is when I knew: I was ready. I walked straight to the cleaners, as straight as one can walk in a Wal-mart they have only been to a handful of other times and then those times were only to shop for toys. I got the bleach, I hesitated on the Drano (did I need the big size, it was like $7; that smaller cheaper bottle looked like it might be the better option), got the biggest Drano, and quickly decided to buy some Kaboom spray crap (yeah okay, glad I bought that). Then I needed something to drink, but not soda, I drink enough of that garbage. Water gets old though, so Gatorade it is. Saw a white 8 pack and there were two of them, it was providence. Grabbed them both. Maybe something to eat too? I decided against it, it was just too difficult and time was running out. I had to leave immediately; I have no problem spending an hour in the parking lot but I will be damned if I spend 15 minutes inside that hell spawner (I don't know what the even means either, probably a gaming reference). I went to the express lane to check out, because I did not have much; to recap: the biggest bottle of drano, a decent sized bottle of bleach not like the last time I got bleach apparently they sold me watered down bleach then so it was bigger (at least that is what this bottle said), a normal sized spray bottle of Kaboom, two 8-packs of 12 oz. (I think) gatorades, and a last minute purchase decision on one of these big 24 packs of water. There was only one person in line in-front of me; however, to this point I have failed to mention that I did not have a shopping cart. Yeah apparently when I was on my way in, I would not be buying that much and would not need a cart. So I kept thinking as I stood in line, I need to go get a cart; I mean: I can carry a lot of stuff, but I was at the edge of my limit before getting 24 waters, that is why I decided -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Edit: 12/01/2014 ) Oh wow, just reread this for the first time since the night I wrote it. I'm afraid I do not even remember the exact phrase that was said that I thought was so funny. After getting all these items placed on the checkout lane, I felt the need to run and get a shopping cart, but I was reluctant to do so, because I wanted to let the cashier know I would be right back, but obviously she was helping the customer in front of me and did not give me a glance or anything. As I waited there arguing with myself about whether to just go and get it or wait and declare my intentions to the cashier, she finally finished with her other customer and turned her attention to me. She just sort of looked down at my items and looked at me and said something like, "Oh my, you definitely need a shopping cart." This for some reason caught me completely off-guard and I just laughed out loud at the idea that she would just blurt that out to me, finally I said, "Yeah, I was thinking of getting one." In actuality, I am making that sound better than what I really said in the moment, but I cannot remember how I responded, but I do remember thinking it was stupid and then I ran off to get a cart. Then for like the next 8 hours, I just kept laughing at myself and how I reacted throughout the entire experience. She had to think I was a loon, just bursting into laughter at the mention of needing a cart. Then responding as I did, so stupidly. Why had I not just gone to get a cart yet (I still don't quite understand)? I laugh at myself for that and I shake my head at all the other awkward things I do.
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