Well almost. The new semester brings a clean slate of classes that I have not blemished. I suppose that is the life of a student, one might suppose I would have gotten good at this with all my experience. However it is really no secret, I am not a good student and despite the new beginning, the past is still there begging to be remedied.
I have, in the past, pondered over the answer, the "why" I am this way. Once upon a time, I believed that knowing that answer would provide an understanding for the solution. I used to feel I was searching for a "passion". I believe that greatness is achieved by aligning one's natural born talents, ability, and passion with what one does. That is how somebody becomes great.
The professionals do not even know what to do with me. That is not even a joke; I have spoken with several professors and even counselors that would agree they believe I have ability, "potential." It is difficult to explain, but let me just say: I have a good idea of what I should do; however, I am not without doubt as to how I am to do that.
I was speaking with my mom the other day; she suggested that I lack determination. I laughed a little on the inside; I do not deny it to be true. Motivation is just another way of describing the same thing. Indeed I have jealously wondered what it must be like to be one of those students that must have an 'A.' It is not that I envy the obsessing or the stressing, but the achieved results. Therein lies the problem. GPA does not simply measure ability, but performance. What is performance: ability * effort. Effort, a function of motivation…One may question, where is this going? Slow and uncertain; just imagine figuring it out by one’s lonesome.
The system is built on the basis that GPA is all that any student needs to be motivated to give their best effort (Potential = ability * best effort). This is not the only failing of the system; there is also the matter of estimated ability based on previously documented educational experiences which is more typically a factor of age than any true measure of ability. Therefore, the system compiles groups of unmatched levels of ability and appoints an individual to direct all individuals in the learning process. Effectively creating a ceiling based on the lowest ability level. Above-average ability individuals are thereby conditioned to exert minimal effort to remain economically sound. Not only that, but given that they are never challenged to give their best effort, they will not gain an understanding for their learning potential.
How is the system expected to educate, when it fails to teach all but the lowest ability student how to learn?
I constantly review anything I write. With that said, I just finished reading this (will not be the last time) and I am not satisfied. First of all there are many more pages on the subject in my head and I had felt more were represented, but I did not write this in one day and I needed to "finish" it so I could focus on school work that was necessary.
ReplyDeleteIn my writing, I typically refrain (or at least attempt to most of the time) from using the first person. One can read the final paragraph for a good example, but the beginning is full of I and my. This disappoints me not that either style is bad, just that it lacks consistency and this eliminates any natural flow and creates a break point, IMO.
And now I should get back to reading my text book so I can take this quiz today...