Lunch and friends

Now this is an interesting story and I think it says a lot about some of my flaws.

My friend and I arranged a long over-due catch-up session.  I am not even going to write of the time that had elapsed since the last time we hung out.  I was pleasantly surprised when I got to the food court to see that two of my friends were there (one can start to see I might be really, really bad at maintaining contact with friends -- weakness).  It had been so long since I had seen them both, I wanted to give them each one the biggest hugs of their lives, but I may not be the best at expressing my emotions -- weakness.  As I stood there contemplating if I should just wrap my arms around them, my mind told me no.  What if they thought it was weird?  What if they didn't want me to touch them?  What if they did not want to be hugged in-front of all these people (there were a LOT of people around)? You are not even much of a hugger -- weakness (I can probably count on both hands the number of hugs I have given and my grandmother makes me give her a hug every time I visit her...twice)!  Yeah, I do not visit her as much as I should -- weakness.

Well so far this lunch was the epitome of why I started this blog; many of the things I think never materialize, but they really should -- weakness.  We had plenty of time in line to talk and that was before I managed to screw up placing my order, but my friends stood with me even ten minutes after they had gotten their food. <3

How can one fail at ordering food?  Well it is quite simple, become invisible -- weakness.  Several years ago I regularly wore camouflage, my high-school peers know it best.  I had three pairs of camouflage cargo pants and I wore a pair almost everyday if not EVERY day -- not a weakness.  It is hard to say why I stopped, but I am going to pretend it was because those pants appeared to function all too well, I could disappear right before the eyes.  It was NOT the pants; invisibility is a unique trait I have, sometimes it takes effort.  These times, I am very in-tune with my environment.  I do not filter any sensory information, this is needed to ensure that my existence impedes on no other.  I make predictions and alter my behavior accordingly.  I can never fully explain this aspect of my behavior, it is complex; suffice it to say that I have a HIGHLY conforming (DISC) personality.  However, there are other times when I lose track of a variable and my predictions are inaccurate.  I think that I have minimized my impact while still remaining visible, especially to those that NEED to see me. The problem with a highly conforming individual that is invisible is that they could open their mouth to re-emerge, but that is just not in their nature.  So instead they move back to where the mistake may have occurred and try to rectify the mistake on a second attempt -- weakness.

I do not ignore the weaknesses; I realize the need to be kept in check, eventually (maybe) one day they will hardly be noticeable.  In-fact, that is what I am hoping to teach them.