I started working out 10 days ago, every weekday at 5 am. There are 2-5 of us that do the Insanity workout. They did it long before I got invited, but I guess one could say I bought into it after the first week. Literally, I found an unopened copy on craigslist for half the price they sell it for at Beachbody.com, plus no shipping cost, and went halvsies on it. This allowed me to do a workout on my own Saturday and the program dedicates Sunday as a day to rest; however, I had a pretty physically intense day at work on Sunday. It rained on Saturday, basically getting all five jumpers that were delivered that day wet or damp. They cannot be stored wet or they will become moldy, mildewy and smelly. I also had to deliver two combo jumpers, these are big jumpers that have other activities besides jumping, like slides, stairs, obstacles, and basketball hoops. I set up all five wet jumpers in the yard and took them all down later and rolled each one up. Plus I delivered and picked up both combo units and this was all done alone, without anyone's help.
All this, combined with the fact that my brother was in Vegas on a work sponsored convention trip, led to me not getting up at 5 am Monday morning. Nevertheless, I did a solo work out in the late afternoon and called it even. Although yesterday, I have no excuse, I was too lazy to get out of bed at 5 am; my feet were hurting and they still do some, but like I said that is no excuse. I do not feel too bad about it though since that is basically the first time I took a day to rest since I started.
Something about actually trying to get in shape makes conscious the knowledge that McDonald's and Jack In The Box just do not cut it for every meal or at least every other. Actually I have basically cut out fast food burgers in the last 10 days. I have been to Subway a few times, Del Taco once, Panda Express (Chinese) once, and had two sausage biscuits from Burger King one morning. Only four restaurants in ten days is Insanity for me. In some days past, I have eaten three meals a day at restaurants.
I attribute this meal consciousness to the workout. The Insanity DVDs came with a nutrition guide. It is not a diet plan so much as a healthy suggestion of what to eat to give a body the fuel it needs for those workouts. I read through it, most of the way. Just taking mental notes, not really getting a plan together. A few days ago I decided I better go to the store. I got only a few things (on a budget here) that I thought I remembered from my reading: bagels, eggs, orange juice, skim milk, english muffins, and pineapple cottage cheese. To be honest, I am not sure why I got the cottage cheese. I have never liked cottage cheese of any kind. It is not a flavor thing, I cannot even get to the point of experiencing flavor. Just looking at it makes me want to gag. Actually having it in my mouth pushes me to my limits and I must concentrate on not gagging in order to prevent it from happening.
Like I said, it has been a few days since I went to the store. I had not yet gotten up enough courage to try the cottage cheese. I have never had pineapple cottage cheese and there is always the idea in the back of your mind: what if I suddenly like cottage cheese now, what if I have been avoiding it for so long now and I really did not need to. This morning I opened it up and one look at my former nemesis and those hopeful ideas quickly dissipated. I stirred the slop with the knife I was going to use to spread it. It did not help. I started cutting pieces from the inside of the bagel to be filled with this cottage cheese that I was going to eat. The transfer from the knife to the bagel pieces that were consumed actually tasted good. I took that opportunity to try to convince myself, "See, you do like cottage cheese!" I thought. As I started "spreading" the cottage cheese into the bagel, my expression soured and I could hear myself saying, "Ewww, please don't eat that." I was very reassuring, "It will be quick and after all it is GOOD." I was very skeptical, but reluctantly I proceeded. As the first bite entered my mouth and came to rest on my tongue, I could hear someone in the back of my mind screaming with their best Will Ferrell impression, "He actually did it!"
Even now as I recall the horror, my eyes are welling up. Somehow I managed to chew and swallow. Remembering that this was supposed to be quick, I forced two more bites down in the same manner as the first. After which I briefly analyzed the situation; I was not going to make it, there was still half a slice of bagel left. Quickly allowing for my conflict resolution to take over, I folded the remaining bagel slice into half. Being that now only a fourth of a bagel remained, I felt my confidence coming back. I put the whole thing in my mouth and tried as best I could to chew only the bagel leaving the cottage cheese filling mostly undisturbed. It worked, I was able to put the rest down. As I stood there, head down; arms on either side of the sink; a small bead of sweat running down my forehead; and my stomach not quite okay with what was on it's way, I began to wonder, "is this what it means to eat healthier, to torture yourself with things you can hardly swallow? Does it become easier, will I look back one day and remember how hard it used to be?"
I really do not know those answers. As I put away the cottage cheese container, glancing at the contents within one last time, I questioned my purchasing decision; I also wondered if I would finish it before it goes bad. There was something else though, as I walked away from the kitchen filled with disbelief at what I had just put myself through, I felt strange. Strange in a way that, a double cheeseburger or three could never make one feel, I felt victorious. Be it a small victory, it was a victory nonetheless and here I am thinking about doing it again, maybe not tomorrow, but again someday (before this one goes bad anyway). That is of course after I double check the nutrition guide to make sure it does in fact have cottage cheese in some of the recipes and I did not misremember when I was at the store. After all cream cheese gets along a lot better with both bagels and me.
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