Something needs to change

I am sure some might think I am just being overly self-critical.  I am really not, if anything I am far too often lackadaisical.  It comes from a low sense of urgency.  Some might call it procrastination and while that may be very close, I argue that it is not exactly the same.  Let us be honest, however, this is all purely semantics and relatively few are willing to debate with me on that.  No one cares, I get it.

I have so much writing to do for school and so little is getting done.  I start as many blog posts as I finish.  I think of more than twice as many as I even started.  I am taking English 300 in the summer, it is my last class to graduate with a degree in marketing and if I pass three of the classes I am taking this semester and get a match for the two statistics classes I have already taken, I'll graduate with a degree in Psychology as well.  I am worried though, because of all the writing that entails.  Just an idea of what I have to write for classes right now (not every class I am involved with is required for me to graduate): 3 research papers (10+ pages each) by April 11th, a research paper with each section due at different times throughout the semester, a 30 page group project on a economic industry cluster in Thailand, an eventual advertising plan with a group, a mini-case study on medical tourism in Malaysia, and a business framework for an idea that targets college students.  All-in-all that is every bit of 150 pages.  Every time I think about writing something that is all I do is think.  Until eventually I distract myself and waste a bunch of time doing something like reading up on current events, checking facebook, starting a blog post that I never finish, or playing games.

If I cannot get out of this semester, English 300 is not going to go well.  I would really rather not graduate with one major.  I ended up taking two extra semesters for the extra degree.  I calculated it up as taking one semester, but that did not work out as planned.

I am frustrated.  I cannot just write.  I have to read and read and read and read.  By the time I start writing I have spent so many hours getting to the point where I feel comfortable to write and countless hours lost in thought about what I would write.  At that point, I am just finished with thinking about it and I cannot write without thinking.  Unfortunately, I can think without writing.

On top of it all, I am struggling in French class.  I just do not remember what I have learned in the past.  I am picking up new understanding, but I can tell when I should know something and it just is not there.  I need to try harder, to study more.  It is the same thing though all that requires more time.  How am I to best use my time with all this in-front of me?  I do not know, but I can say that I am not doing it right.  Something needs to change and fast!