Happy Birthday Mommy

Dear Mom,

     All too often this world is filled with people that are unwilling to take responsibility for their shortcomings and their failures.  These people typically place the blame with their parents.  I am a little skeptical, perhaps I have been lucky in that respect and those people and myself have experiences that are very different.  I had everything that a boy could need (and more) growing up and most of what I wanted too.  I had opportunities that I did not take advantage of, but anywhere I went wrong was my own fault.  I know that I did not quite turn out to be the person you raised me to be.  That should not reflect on you in anyway.  Maybe one day, who knows.  Until then, don't beat yourself up about me, and don't mind anyone that says otherwise either.

     I am not sure if you remember, it was quite a few years ago, I had this t-shirt that read: "My mommy says I'm special."  I loved that t-shirt.  Partially, because I love to make people laugh, even though I have not helped anyone laugh in a long time.  With all my brothers and sisters, I was not the smartest, handsomest/prettiest, most talented, artistic, responsible, disciplined, athletic, extroverted, or affectionate child; the world saw an awkward and peculiar child, but through your eyes I was special.  I have been blessed to see the world through your eyes.  There is a world out there full of people special in their own way, waiting to laugh, smile, connect, and love.  I only wish, I had been blessed with the courage to act on what my heart sees through these eyes.

     I am sorry.  I let you down and I do not know if it gets any better.  The best I can do is to offer to try.  But still, I just don't know.  I am not sure if it is worth all the hugs I did not give, or the love you did not receive.  Thank you for everything, and I mean everything I should have ever said thank you for and did not.

     I love you.

Your son,
Aaron