Waking/Sleeping dream

I kept having this dream where I would wake up and walk around the house only to "realize" something was not quite reality.  Therefore, realizing I was only dreaming and I needed to wake up to verify whether or not what I was seeing in the dream was legit or completely imagined.

As it was I kept waking up and seeing that someone was opening doors going through the house.  Towards the end of the night I started dreaming that I was looking for intruders and valuable items, like big screen televisions were on the ground like someone was preparing to take them.

The thing about the dream that was actually "scary" is that I am at my brother's house for the weekend alone and last time I was alone here for the weekend I was scolded for entering the master bedroom, which was locked, and putting clothes from the dryer on the bed, then locking the door back behind me.  Anyway I kept dreaming that door was opened.  Since I knew or at least kept realizing that I was dreaming, I kept wondering if maybe I was sleep walking; however, I could not wake up to figure it out (extremely long side-note:  I believe that there is a legitimate basis for this concern; I did used to sleepwalk, I would wake up almost every night and want to go sleep on the couch or on a carpeted floor instead of in my bed or vice versa and I did this so often that I did not always remember actually waking up and transferring my body.  Additionally, I have been accused of beating up my friends for harassing me in my sleep and I have never, the morning after, a day or a night since; remembered any second to substantiate those claims, but I believe my friends are telling the truth.  Finally, I have on other occasions been awakened and done something only to later realize that although I was conscious it did not feel as if I were totally awake in hindsight).  The dream I was having also made me start wondering if I locked all the doors.  I kept thinking to myself that maybe my subconscious or REM is cluing me in on something that I am unable to comprehend in this dream state.

I am relieved to have finally woken up after the 400th time and find nothing awry and all the doors locked.  I am in such a state of distress at this point though that I might as well have stayed up all night.  I could have gotten some work done too, but then I would not be so adamant about documenting this that I actually posted to my blog instead of spending hours letting the cogs in my head spin out of control.

Shower inspirations

Perhaps there is something in the water, but probably not.  Maybe it is the way the water massages one's entire body simultaneously.  Is it possible that the mind mimics the physiological act with a psychological response; I am talking about mental exfoliation.

There is something to it; perhaps it is worth researching.  Then again once the concerns of the day usher themselves in again, the moment will all be over too quickly.  However, we can certainly entertain ourselves for a bit with some off the cuff speculation!

It is impressive, the way a shower head pulsates sending water droplets beating down on the body or how the water rolls down one's body eventually falling and splashing at the ankles.  Stimulating, indeed, but does this stimulate the psychological process of cognition?

No, I think it is the mind's embrace of the nakedness.  This is the one place we do not wear our disguises; not afraid of what anyone will think of us and how any of that makes us feel.  Our defenses, designed to keep everyone else out, are lowered and the one person held captive behind them is finally free to roam, play, and splash around.

At least until those walls come back up.  And put on some clothes.

Cursed shirt

Last time I wore this t-shirt my nephew literally took scissors to it twice.  This created two small "holes" less than half an inch.  Not one to be deterred.  I decided to wear it again (not going out into public).  I cannot even explain why, this is a little disturbing.  My niece just chewed on a baby tomato, pulled it from her mouth, and proceeded to rub it and squeeze its guts all over my shirt.  Then she wants me to look in the mirror.  Seriously I am more concerned that you think that is acceptable behavior than what my shirt looks like.

I cannot help but think it is not the shirt's fault, but at least I can pretend.